In the news:

Here's one that I was alerted to by the consistently excellent Friday Thing:
MOONER FALLS TO HIS DEATH OUT OF WINDOW

What I particularly liked about this sad tale of rugby player stupidity (and many would argue that impaling is too good for them) is the quote from the Dad: "I want to warn young people about the dangers of binge drinking." Well done.

That other bastion of all that is true, Popbitch, reported the following:

A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident in northern Thailand. "A dwarf, nicknamed Od, died when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus, which was waiting to appear in the next act," the Pattaya Mail reported. "Vets on the scene said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex which automatically caused her to swallow." The vets said it was the first time the hefty vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer. "Unfortunately, the 1000 plus spectators continued to applaud wildly until common sense dictated there had been a tragic mistake. Police said the trampoline has been sent for forensic analysis."

Sadly, it seems to be a hoax. Perhaps it would have been nicer if Hilda The Hippo had swallowed the mooning rugby player. Actually, that's probably a common sight on the streets of Cardiff most nights around 2am...