Ooh crikey!

As a footnote to my epic Altrincham post over on WPG, I thought you might like to read about Alty's gay past. They didn't teach me that Altrincham was synonymous with everything perverted at school...

Best yet pub story!

According to Geoffrey Wheatcroft's new book on the Tories, Margaret Thatcher invented Mr Whippy Ice Cream.
Well, perhaps not Mr Whippy itself, but certainly the ice cream that can be squirted from a nozzle. And several sources agree at least on the fact that she worked on "testing ice cream and pie fillings" whilst working as a chemical researcher. Funny ol' world, eh?

Margaret Thatcher, yesterday. Possibly.

Pub story, surely...

From B3ta.com:
MORE NOKIA FACTS - spiny informs us that "the dit dit dit dah dah dit dit dit' bleeps that Nokias make when you get an SMS is actually Morse code for 'SMS'.

Chives The Horse - An Apology

In a posting on Friday 18th March, Will's Pub Guide (The Lock-in) may have inadvertently suggested that Chives The Horse was a donkey, and only fit for the glue factory.

TFMJ now advises me that Chives in fact finished fourth with odds of 50-1, thereby netting us £23. We now therefore accept that Chives is the fastest horse of his generation, and both TFMJ and I are very grateful for his contribution to the Jackson-Quigley household budget. We welcome this opportunity to put the record straight, and to apologise to Chives The Horse and his family "Good Thyne out of Chatty Actress (Le Bavard) trained by Mrs S J Smith and owned by Mr Trevor Hemmings".
Whatever that means.


Chives The Horse, looking speedy, yesterday.

Will's Pub Guide will be making a donation to a charity of Chives' choosing.
(Surely "Firezza Pizza of Garrett Lane"? Ed.)

Irish news

In preparation for TFMJ & I's trip to Dublin in a couple of weeks, I have been following the deepening Sinn Fein political crisis. Here's some in depth analysis by The Daily Show's Rob Corddry. Well worth watching if you have broadband.

IRELAND: THE TROUBLES CONTINUE

It is late, but I'm not drunk

Sadly.

Yes it is a "professional" photo. I got it done because I wanted to put up life-size portraits of myself all over my bedroom, but then realised they may actually be of some use in advancing what my bank manager, agent and mother-in-law sniggeringly refer to as my "career".

And I'm holding a can of warm Special Brew in my left hand - the photographer suggested it would be best to keep it out of sight for the purposes of "creating the right impression", whatever that means.

I've been to NCT tonight - that's the National Childbirth Trust to you barren lot. Have just been given a graphic description of what to expect at the birth itself - which combined with a previous night's drinking of epic proportions brought on a full rush of nausea. Made note to self not to go out fighting beer monsters before Nic gives birth.

A review of the pub I was in last night will feature on the brother site, as soon as I find out what it was called.

The pub, not the site.

Horses, the Feds and Fiona Bruce

Gambling is a mug's game (unless of course it's the fruities, in which case clearly I will always win and look like a Pub God).

I say this because Serco Theresa had a "horse's mouth" tip on "Essex" in the Cheltenham Festival (which I note was also a tip from Helen off of Helen'n'..., and she claims to know what she's talking about in such matters). Plus, it's called Essex, so it will probably have been drugged up to the eyeballs, turbo charged, and have a massive sound system in its saddle, so should have been a dead cert.
It lost.
As did "Chives", named after my hairdo (thanks, Peter Gordon of 96.4 The Eagle!).
And the other horse I've forgotten the name of already (probably "Donkey", or "Three Legs" or "Shot In The Paddock").

CBS Evening News reported on a station that makes Airport Information Radio look like 1Xtra: WFED 1050. It's a station for government employees - all red tape, all the time. No, really. I've spent the day watching the "Thrift Savings Plan Ticker". And waiting for stories such as:
"For the first time in the history of the Office of Personnel Management, employees are being "RIF'd" because of a lost job competition."
or
"He is no longer head of NASA, but that does not mean former Administrator Sean O'Keefe is no longer reaching for the stars."
See what they've done there? Makes the Bong Game seem a bit stale, eh?

And I saw Fiona Bruce off of the news, in Starbucks. But it was the branch in the BBC Media Centre at White City, so that doesn't really count. She had very nice boots on, which seemed a bit pointless as she's sat behind a desk.

Lunch news for today: Gorgonzola pizza with extra mushroom from Pizza Express, Cowcross Street.

Over on the original pub guide soon: Will and Al go to the Essex University London Pub Reunion, and end up in several before even making it to the reunion. Contains new pubs!

I'd like to announce my retirement from international football

Well, I didn't get picked for Wales today either.

.

Never complain to soap writers...

Oh and I almost forgot: some advice from one of the nice people at B3ta.com:

>"I love the UK police soap The Bill: but when they introduced a new WPC, Honey Harmon, I was so disgusted with her lack of acting ability that I emailed the producers to ask who she had shagged to get the role. No response.

Then about a couple of months later there was a panning shot across the office taking in the white boards in the background: There was my name in big black letters with a ring around it in for a child sexual assault case! The bastards!"
(Catchag)

The stuff and nonsense starts here...

Right. Topics for discussion. Pick any ones you like:

Music: This week I have mostly been listening to:
Lemon Jelly. Nick was surprised I was going to see them live, as he thought they were cool. I should probably be offended.
Annie. Perfect pop princess from Norway, produced by Royksopp, who I also probably shouldn't have heard of. She (and the new single Heartbeat) will be huge, mark my words. Others I have played this to did find it a little over-saccarin - but then we were in a car on the way to a funeral.

And Alastair sent me this destruction in Stylus Magazine of Radio 1's Chart Show with JK and Joel. It's excellently written and deserves a wider audience. If you didn't already know, Joel Ross out of JK'n'... is really Joel Hogg, who used to work at Trafficlink Middlesbrough with TFMJ. So it's all my fault, I guess.

Other things of note this week have been:
Look Around You. An anorak's dream, especially the continuity announcements; it's just a shame they forgot to write any jokes. But for me, the star of the show was Medibot.

Medibot, in the 1970s.

On cable and scatterlite, my two recommendations are:
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - Global Edition from Comedy Central - you'll find this tucked away as a weekend filler on CNN. I think this show is now the official opposition to Bush's America.
Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, on Cartoon Network. This is where your imaginary friends go to when you've finished with them. It's the new show from the guy behind The Powerpuff Girls, and is worth it for the excellent theme music alone.

And finally, I wanted to sign up to become a volunteer dog walker at Battersea Dogs Home. It'd get me off the sofa and I'd get dog fuss at the same time: everyone's a winner. Then I find you can only walk dogs between 10am and 4pm, Monday to Friday. Who says? And more importantly, why? Surely the only people free at this time are those not working because they're too old, lazy or infirm, or all three, and therefore aren't able to walk dogs. Stupid dogs, stupid Dogs Home. So I'm sticking to sponsoring Merlin The Meerkat at Drusillas Park in Sussex, who doesn't need walking.

Merlin (possibly), not being walked yesterday.

Next time: My general election predictions, and either here or on the main site, the annual Essex University Graduates London Pub Reunion.

PS: Lunch news: Venison burgers from Chadwick's, the finest butcher in all Sarf London.

Welcome!

You're not a copper, are you?

Will and I were chatting in the Wetherspoons in Victoria Station the other day about the Pub Guide and how it had grown from it's original raison d'etre as a guide to pubs (hence the title) to a forum for its contributors to ramble about which stars they'd met, who was stalking them, and even what they'd had for lunch (or dinner, as us northerners call it). Will was keen that WPG (as we shall hereafter refer to it) stick to being a one-stop shop for all your pub-guiding needs. However, we both realised that, now the pointless-gossip genie was out of the bottle, it was going to be really difficult to put it back in there. What could we do to keep all parties happy?

We had another beer.

And then, like white smoke rising over the Vatican, an idea formed in the sky (just over platform 11). Why not have a brother blog where WPG contributors could waffle on as much as they liked, about anything they liked? Of course! How simple! But what will we call it?

It had to be pub-related. And it had to give us the leeway to talk a lot of rubbish. Well, we do that anyway, but it struck me that on the few occasions when I've been party to a lock-in* I've spouted even more objectionable rubbish than I usually do. Which is saying quite a lot. So I suggested "The Lock In" as a title and our glorious leader said yes. Sometimes life is simple like that.

So join us in talking nonsense after hours, and feel free to make use of the comments function. I love you, you're my best mate you are.

*note to non-UK readers: a lock-in is when a publican allows after-hours drinking. In your enlightened country you probably don't need this as your licensing hours allow drinking into the night, but we're supposed to go home at eleven o'clock (10.30 on Sundays). The phrase comes from the fact that no-one who wasn't in the pub at closing time can enter. This means that everyone who takes part is usually pretty far gone before the event even starts. Quite appropriate for this forum, I think.

(oh, and if you were wondering: left to right - Pie Lord, Nick, Will, Alastair, Julian)