Beer advent calendar!

Herbs, goats and other posters

I very rarely put things on the walls in the places that I work. In a television newsroom I once printed off the Dilbert cartoon entitled Appraisal Time:

Boss: "Your work has been good this year, but I'm going to mark it down as poor."
Dilbert: "Oh."
Boss: "I need a paper trail in case I have to fire you."

I also once put up an excellent article about something which I felt the office of a radio newsroom ought to be aware of. It was mysteriously taken down within two hours. Whether it was because I had used the wrong adhesive or the article's content was in some way threatening the security and safety of my colleagues, I will never know.

I was recently inspired to put up one of the Guardian's posters entitled Herbs in the biggest newsroom in the world. More than a month later I'm delighted to say it is still there. Thrillingly, I recently walked into a competitor's newsroom to find the journalists in there busy assigning each breed in the Guardian's Cows poster to the relevant colleague. I got a Berkshire.

In related news someone not a million miles away from helenandjo knows two people who have been known regularly to walk round muttering under their breath variations on "I hate everyone and I want to die." Both are journalists. Neither are me.

I'm addressing the 2nd Annual Space Conference

with Alex James from Blur.

I have no doubt things will change, but as it stands, at 3.50pm on Wed 6 Dec, I will be taking part in a session entitled Space Outreach: Communicating with the Public, at the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory in Didcot, Oxon. With Alex James (right), off of Blur.

Real life has finally started delivering the sort of surreal situation you only normally get to experience in a dream. Excellent.

I'm knocking around a few ideas with my new friend over the next few days so I'll keep you posted.

Do you think I'll get lynched as a smarmy media twat if I attempt to say something like "Now, this isn't rocket science - that's your job..." - or do you reckon that's just the gag to get them going. I don't think I'll risk it.

Also, what to wear? Suit and tie? Suit no tie? Jeans and t-shirt? Lab coat? Help!

Beer Belly!

If any of you are going Australia to see the Ashes Tests, you might want one of these, given that you can only buy low-alcohol beer in most of the grounds. Yes, really. You watch, they'll be doing the same over here soon.