And lo, she said, you'll be tired

Er, right.

Hello. I am now a dad. Amy Elizabeth Wallis. Beautiful, beautiful little girl. No piccies on the net.

This is the first moment I've had to have a look at the lock in and pub guide and it's very strange - it's like a window into another world.

Alastair - your functioning drunkard website is very intense - have you ever read Sleb? Written by someone who clearly has experience of being a functioning drunkard. I particularly like FD's booze hag (the one with the "Don't Ever Judge Me" graphic as part of her signature, who thinks she's found a kindred soul.

Strangely, FD's website (he's not a blogger, he's a websot, surely) has so many drunken attitudes and lucid moments it's like looking in a futuristic memory function thing. Annoyingly, being sober is the most difficult, yet tricky thing you can do. After all, you have to be very comfortable with who you are in order to spend more than 90% of your life sober. Or completely mad. I think most abstentionists (word?) fall into the latter category.

As you can probably tell I've had a drink. Well - 2 drinks. Not much, I agree, but the first real drinks I've had since Amy was born, and they are therefore having an effect.

Amy is the most wonderful girl in the world. She is clearly going to be Prime Minister and is certainly going to be a handful given she is "strawberry blonde" and Taurus. I have obviously taken the blame for her hair colour, given my ginger beard and support of Manchester United. It hasn't escaped my attention that (thankfully) she resembles Nic in almost every regard, including skin colour - but those Scottish genes of mine continue to poke through.

Amy and Nic are currently at the in-laws. I have been working all weekend, so I am going to get a morning's sleep tonight. It's the first time I've had a moment to think and be even slightly boozy and it's made me realise it's the first opportunity I've had to be even vaguely lachrymose about Amy and how much I love her. For the birth I had to be "strong" as Nic was in trouble for a bit. For the time I had off work I was just completely stunned by the whole thing and spent a lot of time just enjoying being part of a new family. Since I've gone back to work I've had to shut a lot of stuff off and just cope with it. The same when I come back from work.

This is the first chance I've had to have a few beers and just think about it. You see, this is the positive side of having a drink. You get to remember how much you actually like life.

Right - I'm going to have one more beer then go to bed. Barman!