Things I've been sent...

From: Mac Jackson
Date: Apr 16, 2005 8:48 AM
Subject: Beer
To: Will Jackson

Will,
Following on from PL "who let the dogs out"
try The dangers of drinking beer - so, soooo true.
Dad.

Which reminds me of the old joke:
Q: How do you turn a dog into a fox?
A: Drink eight pints of lager.
Boom boom.


-----Original Message-----
From: Ian Gardner
Sent: 25 March 2005 22:38
To: Will Jackson
Subject: contribution to the guide for ya!

Take The Alcohol Knowledge Test

I'm pleased(?) to say my score was "Bourbon":
Congratulations! You're 104 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (83), and liquor (60). Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

Tell me how you did.

From: Anthony Rudd
Sent: 13 April 2005 16:22
To: Will Jackson
Subject: The 10 worst album covers of all time

This made me laugh so much, I had to pass them on.

The 10 worst album covers of all time

Anthony Rudd
Area Manager
Trafficlink (UK) Ltd

From: Ian Gardner
Date: Mar 23, 2005 7:00 PM
Subject: Fw: FW: [Fwd: Beer Theories]
To: "Will Jackson (HM)"

W

Beer facts related email for the guide - if it's any use.


> Beer Theories
>
> Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
> Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
> brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
> beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
> I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams
> come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>
> -- Babe Ruth
>
> An intelligent man is sometimes
> forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
>
> -- Ernest Hemingway
>
> When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
>
> -- Paul Hornung
>
> 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
> Coincidence? I think not.
>
> - H.L. Mencken
>
> When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
> When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
> to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
>
> George Bernard Shaw
>
> Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
>
> - Benjamin Franklin
>
> Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
> is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
> but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
>
> -- Dave Barry
>
> Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
>
> -- W.C. Fields
>
> Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
>
> Professor Irwin Corey
>
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a
> "support group." Salvation in a can!
>
> -- Leo Durocher
>
> One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to
> his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
> buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
> herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
> are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
> whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
> improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much
> the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
> slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kill
> brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
> brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
> eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
> more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a
> few beers.