It is late, but I'm not drunk

Sadly.

Yes it is a "professional" photo. I got it done because I wanted to put up life-size portraits of myself all over my bedroom, but then realised they may actually be of some use in advancing what my bank manager, agent and mother-in-law sniggeringly refer to as my "career".

And I'm holding a can of warm Special Brew in my left hand - the photographer suggested it would be best to keep it out of sight for the purposes of "creating the right impression", whatever that means.

I've been to NCT tonight - that's the National Childbirth Trust to you barren lot. Have just been given a graphic description of what to expect at the birth itself - which combined with a previous night's drinking of epic proportions brought on a full rush of nausea. Made note to self not to go out fighting beer monsters before Nic gives birth.

A review of the pub I was in last night will feature on the brother site, as soon as I find out what it was called.

The pub, not the site.